Fatso
Chris Okum
The guy who rang up my jeans looked at my pickle. I waited in line to pay for my jeans. I handed the guy my jeans. He asked me how I was doing. And then he looked at my pickle. I was holding a pickle in my hand. I bought a pickle at the food court. And then I decided that it was time for me to buy some new jeans. Because my old jeans were old. The guy looked at my pickle and I remember thinking, Hey, he’s looking at my pickle. Because I saw him look at my pickle. I was paying attention to him. Lately I’ve been trying to pay less attention to what I’m doing and more attention to what other people are doing. And now I’m starting to notice things. Like the guy looking at my pickle. Even though I have no idea why he was looking at my pickle. Maybe it’s been a long time since he’s seen someone holding a pickle. Or maybe he thought my pickle looked good. I think that was it. I think he wanted my pickle. And if I was him I would’ve wanted my pickle, too. Because it was a good looking pickle. And it tasted even better than it looked. Thinking about how good the pickle looked, it’s kind of hard to believe that it tasted even better than it looked. But it did. After I paid for my jeans I took a walk along the pier. I sat at the end of the pier and ate my pickle. I looked out at the ocean. There was a pod of whales. Whenever I see a pod of whales I think about sushi. The best sushi I’ve ever had in my entire life is whale sushi. So I ate my pickle and looked out at the whales. When I got home I called my mom to see how she was doing and to ask her if she wanted to take me to get some whale sushi. She said she would. I asked her how she was doing and she said she was fine except for the fact that someone broke into her house during the middle of the night and stole the toilet. She said they didn’t take anything else. All they wanted was the toilet. She said she got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and when she went to sit down the toilet wasn’t there anymore. So I told her to go buy a new toilet. Then I tried on my jeans. They were too tight.