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Vaginas

Tony Walner

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In first grade my friend Jake and I got caught googling “vagina.” When his mom walked in the room, she looked at the screen, then at us, then at the door, and walked out. We’re freshman now, and we don’t talk about the vagina incident anymore.

I am dating Elise Benson. I am dating her more than she is dating me. We saw a sad movie last weekend and I tried to cry during it so she would like me more, but I couldn’t cry. She cried. I held her hand while she was crying. I held her hand more than she was holding mine.

Jake says he’s dating Lydia Cohn. Jake is not dating Lydia Cohn. Lydia Cohn dates Jared Levin who is a senior and who modeled at Abercrombie last summer. One of those guys who stand shirtless in front of the store and take pictures with twelve-year-old girls.

After school Jake and I hang out. We look up photos of naked girls and don’t worry about his mom walking in the room because she moved to Colorado with some guy whose name I can’t remember.

The girl we are looking at is tan and freckly and has pointy nipples with a dark thatch of pubic hair hiding her vagina. I wonder what her vagina looks like. I ask Jake if he is wondering what her vagina looks like. He says he is. I wonder what Lydia Cohn’s vagina looks like more than I wonder about Elise Benson’s. They both probably look the same as all the other vaginas out there. Weird. Confusing.

Jake and I scroll through more photos. He asks me if what we’re doing is normal. I say that I’m not sure.

Jake turns off his computer and the screen goes black. We can hear his dad pressing deep into the steps, making his way past Jake’s room. We look over at the door, waiting for a knock we know will not come.