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The Writing’s on the Wall 

John Manuel Arias

I’m 8 / 20 in twelve years / and the showerhead

explodes / its sparks are tea leaves that tell my

future / coffee grounds at the opening of my

stomach where your name won’t escape / they

predict an earthquake / see the number 6 / grimace

at the sight of a feathered serpent / a boa around

your throat / Apophis in all his splendor / dancing to

some Destiny’s Child song that’s lost its rhythm

I catch fire as easily as my mother’s ex-husband / I

twirl / trying to get away / smash my tailbone again-

st the shower bar / my grandmother clings onto

when her blood pressure reaches 222 over 12

in between the tiles / there are sweet roaches / drain

flies / like feathered serpents / boas constricting / I

shed my skin / look up closely at the sparks / cry out

your name / purge it / lick it up like coffee grounds

because there’s none left in the kitchen cupboards

I’m 8 / waiting for the world to end / 20 / and

watching it end as gracefully as humanly possible

my future / it was definitely spelled backwards in

Spanish / maybe in Spanglish I can pronounce it

rightsideup / can pronounce you rightsideup too

I’m 8 / Apophis gives me much-needed fashion

advice / mint is totally in this year / always wear

lace panties for your clients (they prefer it over

jockstraps) / when you’re getting tests done / be-

come your grandmother (but / maybe not / because

she hates having her blood drawn / it looks red and

doodled and messy in those little tubes)

at night / he dresses us up / for our last sex party

then in the morning for an elementary school choir

performance / at my classmate’s first funeral

I’m 20 / hyperventilating your name / my ribs have

never felt so much like fingers / ready to swing

open my chest / like a music box playing that

Destiny’s Child song / ¿what were the lyrics?

I’m 8 / the whole entire church loves my solo of

Joshua Fought the Battle of Jericho / 20 / and at a

sudden loss for words

I’m 8 / naked in a burning shower / 20 / and my

artery swallows a bone needle / pulled straight out

from my chest

I’m 8 / burning naked in a shower / 20 / and I can

almost guess what you’re going to say

I’m 8 / you’ll give it to me later / in 12 years / by

surprise / like a birthday present / 20 / and I swear I

met you once when I was 8 / there / inside the

emptied out belly of a thunderstorm

I’m 8 / I read the sparks all wrong / confuse

VIDA / with / SIDA / and / vice versa / 20 / and I

can finally read you rightsideup / in Spanglish I can

also be read rightsideup / that is / if you want to

I’m 8 / Apophis powders his face / slips on fireproof

pumps / short-circuits the showerhead / lip-syncs

my future until he can’t remember the lyrics

20 / and I don’t remember them either

I’m 8 / I won’t make it

20 / and I still won’t make it

I’m 8 again / 20 now / and Apophis keeps on

singing / ¿what’s the big deal / kid? / it’ll make no

difference if it’s today / or in 12 years /¿right?