JULY 2004

> THE GRADUATING CLASS OF ... | adam barrett

Dear Monica,

You know, things just seem to always try to fuck people in the ass, or if they like to be fucked in the ass, things try to fuck people in their specific unwanted place to be fucked. It doesn't matter where you go you will be followed and haunted by all kinds of little nasties that will make you want to commit suicide more than once before its all over. You are your worst enemy. You will never be able to get around yourself. The sooner you realize this concept, the better you'll be. Change won't make a difference. A new car or a set of clothes, a new job or a change of scenery can't help you. You're life will be shit even after you come to terms with the inevitability that you were put on Earth to be tortured. You're born into Hell and church is part of the sick twisted fucking game of it all, so don't count on its help. You'll lose your chance at something better than what you have every single day and not even realize you've missed it until long after you can't have it anymore. If you haven't heard, the best days of your life have now passed so cheers to bills, stress, and full-time jobs instead of full-time freedom. Welcome to life after graduation. Welcome to the end of this card. Here's fifty bucks, congratulations!

Yours truly,

> BIOGRAPHY | about the author

Adam Barrett's writing has appeared in The IUS Review and in the anthology, Where Handstands Surprise Us.