JUNE 2008

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Cells
By Matthew Brian Cohen, Mar 21, 2008

It has been seven years since I met you and I am made of entirely new cells. This is the science I learned from Snapple caps—that every seven years, all the cells in your body change. I couldn’t tell you if it was true or not, if I was really a biologically new person, but when we were driving home in your car and your voice played my favorite song louder like a growling pit of fire, it felt like dying, microscopically, and being renewed. If it was true, it was my cellular baptismal—Page France was crackling out from the stereo, lit by snares and dusty bass, your hands held loose around the wheel as you sang along to all the words transparent, fanning soft and fuzzy melody to rise like warm dough and your mouth was sparked so sweetly wide and bursting cool, white air out into bloom.

If the Snapple caps were true, it was my first breath in this body. All else from me had been shed to exile—the smoke from the cigarettes I tried when I was drunk and lonely, the layer of sweat caked on my hands since puberty, the fibers from sweaters too tight in the shoulders, the flakes of burnt skin from summers when I was weightless, when I could hold my head underwater for so long and my mother swore she was watching, and all the ghostly callouses from summers spent lazing about my old town, nowhere to go except for a bar or for coffee, maybe the high school to reminisce—everything had become uncaged from me. You are my first sense, my first smell, my first touch and sound and it is learning me to be lucid, learning how to make my lungs unfold and breathe immaculate, learning how to stretch into new skin, how to wipe my palms clean to the music and air and rhythm of your body, just as new as mine—burning, stripped and purgatoryed, starving for a song to stop the choking, our voices clutched in our chests as we listen deep and breathe close and feel like starting over.

If the Snapple caps could be trusted. If they couldn’t, it would take a lot more than a song and some heavy breathing to change things, or maybe it would just need a couple more years.

Matthew Brian Cohen lives and writes out of New Jersey. He writes music reviews for Adequacy and can be contacted via email with any questions, criticisms, or praise.

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