about the author

Tom Kelly received his Poetry MFA from Old Dominion University in 2016. His poems appear or are forthcoming from The Southeast Review, Painted Bride Quarterly, Gulf Stream, Gargoyle, among others. Follow him on Twitter @tomvkelly.

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All-purpose pizza party 

Tom Kelly

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Levitating like marionettes, posing on ivory columns,
hibernating in airtight incubators—respective flavors flagged
with white picket signs, underscored by city of origin, date of birth,
the POTUS who made them famous, appropriate etiquettes
and media for consumption—the Pregnant Pizza, Crime Scene Pizza,
Pizza on the Set of Kittens and Cougars Volume 4 next to Lukewarm
Sunday School Pizza: glib and smirking beneath pepperoni, pineapple,
jalapeno, basil dispositions—Last Bite of the Last Slice from the CiCi’s
Pizza Eating Contest curling a steamy finger at the snake-veined lifter;
lactophobic nitwit wrestling a waiver for a slice of Dad’s Gone
to Another Orgy at the Neighbor’s; Vegan having words with Cross
-Contaminated Pizza—Styrofoam boxes beside souvenir and non-
perishable pizzas attracting whirling lines of packrats and check-
off-the-list scallywag retirees—microwaves arranged like slot
machines reserved and required for select pizzas only—pizza
one must lob at a toddler’s face before eating—slices one’s paid
or pays to ingest—Rehab Pizza, Child Support Pizza, Pizza in a G-String,
Pizza Accompanied by Call Girl or Plastic Toy, Pizza Peppered
with Bullet Holes and Hypothetical Pizzas on microscope slides—
pizza more playful and vicious than ball pit; Outdoor Pizzas
on picnic blankets, sky-gazing through openings in the ceiling,

all these pizzas, spanning decade and provenance, in one room, packed

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